i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
