oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
