Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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