why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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