Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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