fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
