NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
