we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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