And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
