my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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