so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
