then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
