Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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