Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
