You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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