Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
