if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
