You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
