Small penises have feelings too.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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