YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
worst night to have a conscience
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
