i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I would ride that face into the sunset
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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