I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
