idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
