I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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