BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
