So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
