we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
No subtext here. People are naked.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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