i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
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