yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
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