He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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