i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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