i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Do vagina's smell?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Randomize
