we have officially lost it.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
