Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
