SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
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