Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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