Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
