Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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