He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Everything about him screamed your future.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
