i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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