I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
