Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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