The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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