So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
