i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
