can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
