Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
