I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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