Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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