so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
